I saw a t shirt in wellington recently that really made me laugh – it had a butchers diagram of a whale, with all the portions neatly labelled and carried the heading ”whales are delicious and nutritious”. It was a joke – but I really shouldn’t have to explain that.
Every now and then I consider swearing off meat for good and becoming a vegetarian. It is un questionably a healthy way to eat and I am quite content to eat meatless meals provided they are tasty. I will not eat tofu, ever, but then nor will I eat window putty or tile grout or blu Tak. I stopped eating foods based on their pure nastiness around the time that the boys in primmer 4 decided the turquoise crayon was the most vile therefore the only one worth eating, having worked my way through a whole carton of crayola, I was undone as Mathew Caules proceeded to eat the entire skin of an orange without puking and no one but no one could beat that.
The trouble with so much vegetarian food is the puritanical greenie- ness of it. Why does the spicy vegetable pie have to be imprisoned in cement crust made from fair trade organic gravel? Why can’t it come wrapped in melt in the mouth flaky puff pastry? And why does the person serving it always have dread locks, harem pants and complicated vegan sandals on? It’s not helping people like me take it seriously.
Tonight I’m making spinach and ricotta calzones for dinner, with nutmeg, garlic and a crunchy crust, they’ll be delicious, but I can already feel there is hot a bacon butty waiting in the wings…